10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.