10 Random Poker Quotes

• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "No river, no fish."