10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• Welcome to kicker school
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm