10 Random Poker Quotes

• Welcome to kicker school
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• In order to live, you must be willing to die - Amir Vahedi