10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• in the poker game of life women are the rake
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen