10 Random Poker Quotes

• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-