10 Random Poker Quotes

• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• Poker is for fat, American losers.