10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.