10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare