10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.