10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I'd rather be lucky than good" - Lefty Gomez
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.