10 Random Poker Quotes

• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Its better to have played and lost then to not have played at all Dick McWatters
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.