10 Random Poker Quotes

• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword