10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"