10 Random Poker Quotes

• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.