10 Random Poker Quotes

• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.