10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier