10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.