10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks