10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.