10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."