10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.