10 Random Poker Quotes

• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--