10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus