10 Random Poker Quotes

• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."