10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is