10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.