10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.