10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• Sometimes nothing's a pretty cool hand -paul newman-
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."