10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth