10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)