10 Random Poker Quotes

• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)