10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.