10 Random Poker Quotes

• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• "No river, no fish."
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.