10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus