10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Its better to have played and lost then to not have played at all Dick McWatters
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls