10 Random Poker Quotes

• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.