10 Random Poker Quotes

• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.