10 Random Poker Quotes

• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio