10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Its better to have played and lost then to not have played at all Dick McWatters
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers