10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "I had 2 high." -Sammy Farha
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.