10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• Poker is for fat, American losers.