10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.