10 Random Poker Quotes

• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"