10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.