10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• im going to 2 out you to death
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth