10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)