10 Random Poker Quotes

• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls