10 Random Poker Quotes

• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet