10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "I had 2 high." -Sammy Farha
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• im going to 2 out you to death